Guilt

This not the storm I expected. Guilt holds me, because of my bad advice, my presumptions. Anything to help her get better. Right. Anything not to make it worse.

"It"- unclear pronoun reference. How many times spent as a trigger, as the domino to send the rest of them down? Twice, that I can, beyond doubt, put to myself. A third time, maybe, but who knows.

Anything to keep her safe.

But maybe there's what I can't help, what I can't control.

Children grow up, don't they? I mean, every parent has to deal with this, right?
You can only be there as much as time permits. As long as they'll allow you to listen. I can't make their decisions for them.


I can barely make decisions for myself.

______________________________

Maybe we need to re explore the difference-- the divide-- between wants and needs. And really, really, define heartbreak, because I think that's a hyperbole here.

Maybe we should put life in perspective. Even if we don't need to feel guilty for our misdemeanors doesn't mean we should continue, just because it's not a fullfledged crime.

But why do I feel guilty for crimes I did not commit?
..........................................................

Take a deep breath, a moment.

I think for myself.
I create myself.
I live for more purposes than I can fathom,

And


I love you.