reflections

Sometimes it comes to me-
the blank and bitter starstruck ground
swimming out with light reflected everyway.
this, like drowning,
burning out the eyes and gasping for breath.

And i could see forever,
blue from the sky
forced to the ground
attenuated lines
reflecting
falling behind
this is dealing with distance
dealing with self
shadows always seems so strong-
unidentifiable
the mystery lends power
the darkness lends faith
the missed call is a sign
that someone cares,
goddammit,
someone cares.
and i see it.
over the thousands of miles traversed
how distant we still are
and i flashback to summer

G-d bless the daylight
throwing fate in relief
circles within circles
guilt
viewed clearly as an outsider
because it is not mine.
the guilt was never mine.
being forced to see yourself
without the self effacing hate and rose coloured glasses
whose foolishness is only so much yours
as it is your fears
bleeding out into open sea
and you swill down this weakness
you hate it and embrace it.
you make it your own.

G-d damn the dark night
all thoughts rushing in
the tide
rising
harmony
harmonize
rising up until the shrillest call can be heard
above all else
above my head
pale sunlight breaking through
this is a new dawn breaking
sun burst faction
blinding universe
until i make my own forevers
oceans reflecting oceans
and questions
reflecting questions
until an arrival is made
at something like love.