fix yourself

I am not the one whom you search for
playing silence
wishing for a darker, more conservative appeal
the way everything falls out
I feel
almost as though I cannot be real
because everything that I am given to is but a dream
the dedication and the sweat
and the acrid scent of rain
waiting is a joke
journeys are imagined
trails
winding through your mind
what you are looking for is already there
what I am is a self deficiency
patching up the holes and tears
created by a desperation
if you are looking for it, it is not there,
If it cannot be found,
then what do I care?
I'll spell it out.
only you can find yourself
and only you can see the deficiency
and it's a leak only you can fix
but until then

drip

d
..r
....i
.....p

d
r
i
p
.