adernaline junkie love

head bowed down
cradled in hands
as they turn
the pages turn
and the way the colours bleedtogether
the thoughts rocking back and forth
and then again this is a frantic energy
pulsing through
interrupted
plan i need a plan
stripes of a different color
planes of light
lasers in actuation
adrenaline junkie
love
i don't have the time to stay
the time to stay the same
shaking breath
denouementthe waterthe foolthe follower
tension/
fallen faster then physics dare permit
the spastic conundrum
inanities
shattered glass and concentration
big battles, remember.
we fight for the big ones.

but with\in ourselves
we are losing
malfunction
because of where we are from
and what we need
\what they say we need

manic insomniac]
green burst after green burst and sunburst
fishing for keys with a metal coat hanger
twisted and reaching
oh, what is hope.less
love and
copper dreams like shining flame\
and this is as foreign a sound
that i cannot control

language river
pouring down the waterfall
and what you see
is obscured by what ever else lies before
and freedom
is just some people talking
justice and wishes
wearing down at your bones
ginger marrow
carving a place away
we fight for the big ones
and final darkness
sleep

reflections

Sometimes it comes to me-
the blank and bitter starstruck ground
swimming out with light reflected everyway.
this, like drowning,
burning out the eyes and gasping for breath.

And i could see forever,
blue from the sky
forced to the ground
attenuated lines
reflecting
falling behind
this is dealing with distance
dealing with self
shadows always seems so strong-
unidentifiable
the mystery lends power
the darkness lends faith
the missed call is a sign
that someone cares,
goddammit,
someone cares.
and i see it.
over the thousands of miles traversed
how distant we still are
and i flashback to summer

G-d bless the daylight
throwing fate in relief
circles within circles
guilt
viewed clearly as an outsider
because it is not mine.
the guilt was never mine.
being forced to see yourself
without the self effacing hate and rose coloured glasses
whose foolishness is only so much yours
as it is your fears
bleeding out into open sea
and you swill down this weakness
you hate it and embrace it.
you make it your own.

G-d damn the dark night
all thoughts rushing in
the tide
rising
harmony
harmonize
rising up until the shrillest call can be heard
above all else
above my head
pale sunlight breaking through
this is a new dawn breaking
sun burst faction
blinding universe
until i make my own forevers
oceans reflecting oceans
and questions
reflecting questions
until an arrival is made
at something like love.

Choice

Hello;
a return is made
but I have not changed.
They tell such beautiful lies
and somehow,
there exists a truth.
Ice rains down,
and we explode from the force
of our own rage,
smoldering underground.
I will not go out for hundreds of years to come,
and listen to fragile diamond voices
ripping up the knight.
How dare they stand before us,
claim "blameless"
Degenerate.
You are not a normal person who just got
'caught up it something,'
you had a choice-
you have made it-
now, how you are interpreted is beyond your
own hands.
Welcome to the hands of human kind.
Survival is your motive, goal, buoy.
So hold your head up high,
and smile for the paparazzi.