fix yourself

I am not the one whom you search for
playing silence
wishing for a darker, more conservative appeal
the way everything falls out
I feel
almost as though I cannot be real
because everything that I am given to is but a dream
the dedication and the sweat
and the acrid scent of rain
waiting is a joke
journeys are imagined
trails
winding through your mind
what you are looking for is already there
what I am is a self deficiency
patching up the holes and tears
created by a desperation
if you are looking for it, it is not there,
If it cannot be found,
then what do I care?
I'll spell it out.
only you can find yourself
and only you can see the deficiency
and it's a leak only you can fix
but until then

drip

d
..r
....i
.....p

d
r
i
p
.

Proteins Denatured

Watching proteins denature
Brings on a strange feeling
Of guilt and necessity.
That which was once clear
Is no longer,
What once was fluid
No longer flows.
Sometimes the static fills my head
In the late hours of the night
The words are illuminated
And are almost aflame
And the proteins denatured
Are the fuel to my fire
And my latent, deep-seated ire
Barricades me from sleep.
The stolen lives
That fuel my own:
Have chickens ever been greater than man?
And has one man ever been
Better than another?
What lends to this caste system-
Arbitration or skill?
Some combination thereof
Makes the differentiation
Between the heroes and the fools.
A formula of so many variables;
It’s impossible to tell.
But the denaturation of proteins
Is merely the application of heat:
The slow frying of eggs
Late at night.